Monday, 30 September 2019

Reminder - Please Appreciate what you have

Note of a part of my life (important)

Few years ago, year 2015, my dad is complaining that he is not feeling well, so ive plan a visit to Gleaneagles Hospital Jalan Ampang for a full body check up. By that time the doc has checked that his heart has enlarged and has high blood pressure. He had done ECG, ECHO & Tredmill Stress Test and the result comes out and the diagnosis is that his heart is partly swollen. He need to consume High Blood Pressure medication, only half of a pill and take care his health & food intake.

Fast forward after 1 year plus after the last full body check up....Ive force my dad goes to another cardiologist, forget about what is his complication and we went for Dr. Choong Yoon Sin at Sime Darby Parkcity Hospital. This time more serious, 1 of his valve aortic valve is not closing nicely and might need a replacement. He need to takes 3 kind of medication to maintain his heart condition and same. take care of the food intake & exercise.

After 2 or 3 rounds of half yearly check up, doctor said the valve has not worsen and we can come back after a year and guess what. Old people, though he has been recovered....he ates durian during 2019 durian season!!!!!he bough a few durian and ate it slowly for a whole month like that then guess what.

A day, after i ha went back home from visiting him. He called and complained to me, said that he has headache, dizzy & vomiting......wow, this is so concerning. Immidiately my sister bought him to the nearby clinic and as usual lah, small clinic wont do any detail check up or maybe my dad dont know how to explain what his symptom like or maybe due to egoness which i think the possibility is high.

When i got the news, i surely know that his blood sugar level should be super  high and thats why he will dizzy. the day after the clinic visit, i fastly rushly bough him back to Parkcity Hospital and meet back his cardiologist. He has to admit to hospital immidiately and plan for Angiopraphy the next day.

After the Angiography, the doctor told me that a few of the small vein in his heat has blocked but luckly he can flush it with saline water...thanks god but the bad news is coming,he need to take cholestrol control medication and also heart relaxer then his existing loose valve is acting up, is deteriorating...need to change asap cuz its start to effecting the bottom ones. So then he refer me to Dr Sivakumar at Universiti Malaya Specialist Center. (The 1 day stay at Parkcity hospital cost me RM10k, only 1 day, OMG)

UMSC day 1 (23/09/2019 Monday) , blood check, ECG & Xray. The xray comes out stated that his Aorta has swollen, might need to change. So the doctor arrange us for a CT scan by the next visit.

2nd visit (29/09/2019 Thursday), CT scan at 10am , meet with Dr Sivakumar Krishnasamy at 3pm....after all the check up and test we finalised that my dad will undergo Aortic Valve replacement Surgery on 19th October 2019. Rate of death on the table will be around 3 to 7%...Possibilities of stroke, kidney mulfucction and etc etc after surgery which he and we wont know....

Fees wise, RM50k deposit for hospital upon admission and another RM24k for the animal tissue Aortic Valve...Need to spare estimation around RM100k for the whole surgery period....

What to do now? keep calm and face it...no sick / infection / cough & sneez for this 2 week time. If not, it might need to postpone the surgery date.

Honestly, im quite scared...I scare ill lost my dad on the table. My dad are my everything...If i lost him, i will have nothing left...I have no more parents...I have been having horror dream the day after we conformed the date.

27/09/2019 ive dream about my dad has died due to suicide (jump from high building / hanging himself) cuz he is scare to face the surgery. But in the dream i didnt saw him. What i notice is the skies are gloomy, no one by my side, what i feel are just lonely and im alone at a unknown place squatting down beside a road and backing a building....till one point, im calling my friend to do my dad funeral...what dissapoint me the most are even the funeral man is rejecting my request to settle my dad last path. He said he is busy today, can i collect him tomorrow? Then i cried in my dream, i feel so lonely, i feel no one is helping me are assist me....Im useless, i can even done my dad funeral thingy. fail.

The dream was so real, is so so much resemble me now days.....i need help but the one who shares same blood with me dont help and dont even asked at all, she treated us like dead....shes not taking any responsible as a family member nor daughter to my father...im very dissapointed with her.

Then the following day i still had similar dream....either death or lonely..omg, my life now are so so misarable....till one point, i had go to a shamans place and ask about my dad....no good actually....so sad that she said my dad luck was super bad, and she will make him an amulet for smooth surgery then she said he will not live more than 15 years,,,,,so heart breaking and i really hopes gid will give him longer life....hope all the negative prediction is not accurate